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Jesus vs. WB2K
When I was a young lad growing up by the seashore, I would hear many
comments about Jesus walking on water. When I was young lad growing up by
the seashore, my friends and I would try to walk on water, but of course,
we never could. And finally, when I was a young lad growing up by the
seashore, I remember listening in church about "how great" a
person Jesus
was.
Today, as I sit on the roof at The
Sack, I often hear the same words. But instead of hearing the name
"Jesus", I often hear the name "Scott Carmichael", or
"Nate Stuempfig", or many others. So I had asked myself the
question? WB2K vs. Jesus Christ? Who would come out on top?
I understand that many people would
put their life savings on the line in favor of Jesus Christ, but I decided
to not base my opinion on the biases of others and did some research. I
first went to the Bible and read about Jesus and everything he did. What
was caught in my mind was how much I would give to see these things
actually happening! I then went to videotape. With the permission of Room
103 Productions, I was fortunate enough to be able to watch the entire
BYRD Awards from start to finish (which will be watched by all who show up
on opening day, March 26th), and to see some of the footage was absolutely
amazing! To see is to believe and brother let me tell you...I SAW! Is it
humanly possible to throw a curveball the way Nate Stuempfig does? I
don’t think so. Isn’t it surprising how no one has found out a cure
for Scott Carmichael’s 96 mph fastball? Isn’t it surprising how no one
has found a way to get a fastball BY Scott Carmichael? I know a 50-yr. old
man who can hang with a bunch of 20-yr. olds, and his initials aren’t
J.C. It’s G.C., as in Greg Creighton! So after struggling between the
two for hours, I then came to answer to my question, would Jesus be able
to cut it at The Sack?
My answer: No. I mean, just look at
Jesus! He’s a lightweight, weighing in at just over 100lbs. I doubt he
could catch up with a James Vassar fastball. Even when Eric Christensen is
pitching, I think you would be hearing a lot of people yelling
"weight room!" as Jesus again fails to hit one past the warning
track. And when the summer hits and the Chico temperature climbs to over
110 degrees, I bet Jesus isn’t going to be the next Joey Creighton on
defense as he whines about how the asphalt is "too hot" for his
bare feet! Now let's look to the other side. Are the WB2K players itching
to walk on water? Not as much as they are itching to swim in some water,
after a long, hot, four hours of playing. Are the WB2K players going to be
itching to turn water into wine? Doubt it, around here we only drink
Sierra Nevada or soda pop! And when is it going to be useful for WB2K
players to heal a player with a touch of the hand? Never, cause around The
Sac, we proudly wear our battle scars!
"Look, I got blood running down
my leg, make sure you get it on camera! No Jesus, get away, I don’t want
your help!!!", I can see someone saying.
So in end I noticed that both WB2K
and Jesus Christ both have abilities that the other does not have. I am
sure that many would agree that Jesus would kill(!) to have the power,
speed, strength and agility that most WB2K players have, but I don’t
think a lot of players would be willing to kill to have the
"abilities" Jesus Christ has.
Please send all mail to Commish
Creighton as I do not have my own personal e-mail address yet.
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