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Dr. Rapp versus Cliff Rancho - A Debate
Here at Wiffleball2k1,
we have ourselves a wide range of writers. We have a math guru from
the east punching numbers the experts haven't even thought of.
We have another writer from the east who speaks more for the common
person, those who can’t witness our league in person. But our two
local writers, checking out most games, are both fantastic journalists
who both happen to be doctors. One, Dr. Rapp, has a Ph.D. in psychology
that can be helpful when trying to understand the mindset of some
of our players. Then there is our second doctor, Cliff Rancho, who
claims he is the doctor of love. We’re not quite sure how this can
help the league, but we take a good amount of pride in saying that
we have two doctors on our staff. So, Commish Creighton scheduled
a debate between the two writers that was to happen after the latest
gameday (4-22). Both men came prepared and ready to deliver...below
is the transcript.
James
Vassar: (James Vassar has came back earlier than
expected, pitching tremendously. His bat has been very cold so far,
batting only .139. Is there a problem with Vassar? Will he come
around? How do the Young and the Restless benefit from him?)
Dr.
William Rapp (Opening Statement): James Vassar has always been
one of the top players in the league. After his rookie season, he
wasn’t considered a future star...because he was already a star. Now
in his third season, James has displayed 75% of what he can accomplish.
The question is asked, what is wrong with his batting? Nothing.
He will come around. He has faced some tough pitching so far, playing
12 innings against Joey
Creighton and Seth
Yoder. Once he gets a great game from the plate under
his 2001 season belt, you will find his batting stats continue to
rise. He is a streaky player who just happens to be on a cold streak.
Don’t get too comfortable pitching to him, because he will surprise
you.
Cliff Rancho (Rebuttal and Statement): Man, this is going
to be sooo easy...James Vassar is the best, no doubt about it! He
throws really fast, and then he throws a curve ball, that fools
everyone! You can’t beat him! Maybe his batting isn’t up to where
is should be, but I blame that on Derek
Byrd for breaking his bat at this last gameday. If Derek
broke James' bat instead, James would have been able to stop using
his bat, use Derek’s, and everything would have been ok. Derek is
the reason for all of James’ problems. Greg
Creighton, the captain of the Young
and the Restless should only play James, because if these
people weren’t holding James back, then James would rule!
Dr. William Rapp (Rebuttal): Well, I don’t know if I would
pinpoint all of James’ problems on Derek, in fact, I wouldn’t blame
Derek for anything. Derek pitched really well last gameday and hit
the game winning homerun. I do believe that superstition plays a
factor in the mental state of wiffleball. For example, needing to
use a certain bat every at-bat. But I wouldn’t go as far as to say
that Derek’s broken bat is the cause of James’ problems, simply
because there is a good percentage that James could have used Derek’s
bat, struck out, and broken Derek’s bat himself. Why are we even
talking about this?! James is a great player, who will start to
hit the ball, that is my closing argument.
Seth
Yoder: (Seth Yoder has turned a disappointing
rookie season into what could be considered an MVP-like sophomore
season. He and Joey Creighton have gone 5-1 by themselves so far.
Will Seth cool down? Will he go back to his rookie season-like form?
How will Seth Yoder and the Horsemen do when all four players are
active?)
Cliff
Rancho (Opening Statement): Ok, well, here’s the thing. Seth
is ok--not great--and he’s using Joey (Creighton) to make people
think he’s really good. For example, Joey hits a homerun and Seth
will start cheering like he hit it! But he didn’t, Joey did! Or
he’ll say some baseball cliché that makes it sound like he had so much
knowledge about wiffleball. You know what I’m saying? He’ll say
things like, "ducks on a pond." What the heck does that mean? Give
me a break, you’re not fooling anyone Seth! Just sit there and ride
the coattails of Joey all the way home.
Dr. William Rapp (Rebuttal and Statement): Ok, Seth hasn’t
done any coattail riding, he has earned everything. If his playing
is a fluke, than it will show, the stats never lie. Umm, I don’t
know what the hell saying baseball clichés has to do with anything,
but I guess that he says them because he’s been playing baseball
for 12 years. You’re bound to pick up a couple when you play for
that long. Seth is in a spot where he is allowed to get comfortable.
It can be real easy to get into a groove facing a pitcher 5 times
in an inning. When you are on a team that has four players, you
probably bat once against one pitcher, then wait an inning, then
bat against another pitcher, it is very difficult to stay in that
groove. When Clint
Wattenberg and Eric
Christensen come back and play, Seth will probably not
be as successful at the plate, but he will still be a very big contributor
to the Horsemen
that will almost guarantee him the Most Improved Player of the Year
award.
Cliff Rancho (Rebuttal): When have we been allowed to make
predictions? If we could make predictions, I would like to add to
the first debate, about James Vassar, that I think he will win the
MVP and Cy Young award. Thank you.
Mike
Walsh: (Prior to the season, Mike Walsh said his
goal was to win the homerun title in the 2001 season. And after
three gamedays, Scott Carmichael and Joey Creighton are tied with
Mike, with 14. But Scott and Joey have played in nine games whereas
Mike has only played in six. Like Seth, is this a fluke? How much
is his pitching affecting the Holy Whites?)
Dr.
William Rapp (Opening Statement): Mike Walsh has made a good
deal of predictions that mostly everyone, including myself, thought
were a little preposterous, but he has shown that he is for real.
I don’t see Mike slowing down all that much. My guess is that he
will slow down a tiny bit, but still stay on track with everyone
else in homeruns. His pitching though is becoming a problem. After
talking with a couple other wiffleballers, they have told me that
Mike’s speed is perfect, due to it not being too slow, or too fast.
I think his pitching will improve though, once he starts to understand
what he can and can’t throw. Right now, he has 25 RBI’s batting
and has given up 19 runs as a pitcher, so he is producing more than
he has given up. However, if Mike is relying on hitting seven homeruns
every gameday to stay above that, then he'd better rethink his plan.
Cliff Rancho (Rebuttal and Statement): First off, I would
like to go on the record as saying that I always knew Mike could
hit the most homeruns. Once he sets his mind to something, there
is no stopping him. Mike will continue to hit great, because he
is great. He is vastly becoming one of my favorite players (don’t
worry James, he’s my second favorite). His pitching would be better
if his fielders didn’t make so many errors, or if the batters didn’t
move the plate back so far so they can catch up with his fastball.
But once players understand that Mike is just too good for them,
then they will accept everything that he does with open arms.
Dr. William Rapp (Rebuttal): My God, nothing is wrong with
the fielding for Mike. If anything, the fielding has helped! Scott
Carmichael made two great catches in the first game this afternoon
that saved two homeruns. And no player has moved the plate back
to catch up with Mike’s fastball. That is just idiotic. I agree
that Mike will be a top batter, but you can’t overlook his pitching
flaws. His pitching is what is going to keep Mike from being a MVP
candidate...and as you stated Cliff, from being ‘accepted with open
arms’.
Luke
Carriere: (Luke Carriere has played reasonably
well, but nothing to what was (overly?) expected of him, since being
drafted 1st from Terry Creighton and the Road
Warriors. His pitching was supposed to be a negative
factor, but he has shown great deals of accuracy and speed, which
has given him a low 2.00 ERA. Will Luke’s bat dominate like many
people said, and will his pitching fail like many people also said?)
Cliff Rancho (Opening Statement): Ok, the facts are plain
and simple, Luke (Carriere) has lost his magic touch! Sorry to tell
Terry (Creighton) this, but I have to; Luke is over the hill. He
can’t do what he did in his hey-days, he’s just not that good. The
only time he can cause any damage is in the winter. It’s a proven
fact that Mr. Rapp is going to have to agree with me on. Luke, hang
up the tennis shoes and go play your wimpy college ball, you are
the most disappointing first overall draft pick in the history of
this league.
Dr. William Rapp (Rebuttal and Statement): Why can’t Steve
or Shaun be here? Or maybe do a telephone debate between us? This
is a waste of my time. There has only been one draft ever, so yeah,
Luke is probably the most disappointing. He is also the most celebrated,
improved, skilled, agile, fattest, skinniest, tallest, and shortest
#1 pick in the history of this league! Goddamn this is lame! Luke
has been put in a position that is unfair. He is supposed to dominate
and lead the Road Warriors to victory every game. But you got to
give the guy a little time before judging him. He hasn’t played
in the regular season for two years. Probably hasn’t played wiffleball
since then either. But for what Terry Creighton drafted him for,
he has done it. He was not supposed to do this good at pitching,
so in my book, that all but makes up for the ‘lack of hitting a
homerun every at-bat’ he is labeled under. Watch Luke pick it up
on batting, and watch him raise his ERA a little bit as the season
goes on. At the end of the season, Luke will have produced numbers
that are equivalent to what people were expecting.
Cliff Rancho (Rebuttal): You’re damn right he’s supposed
to dominate! But he isn’t! I bet pitchers walk him so they can get
to other batters. That explains the three walks he has! Tell me
if this makes sense, Luke crushes Darnell
Uhland and Aaron
Kemper at Winterball...so Terry drafts Darnell Uhland and
Aaron Kemper?! What an idiot! Thank you.
The
KGJWFBL(The Ken Griffey Jr. WiffleFoamball League
(we believe the name is) has challenged WB2k1 to a game at their
field with their rules and a game at our field with our rules. This
has brought up a big debate between fans as to who can out perform
who. What do our writers think about this situation and who would
beat who?)
Dr. William Rapp (Opening Statement): First of all, I would
like to say that I think this challenge by the Ken Griffey League
will benefit both leagues. For the first time, WB2k1 will step out
of its league to face another. The exposure that each league has
gotten already is immense. My opinion is that I think the WB2k1
league will show the Ken Griffey League, and the rest of the wiffleball
community, how dominate we are with the cosom fun ball and how real
our game is. This is not to say the Ken Griffey League can’t handle
the cosom fun ball, but with using it for the first time, I think
they will be surprised by Scott Carmichael’s low and away 90mph
fastball. Or James Vassar’s (figuring Nate Stuempfig won’t be around)
15 inch dip on the curve ball. Then on the other side, we, along
with the rest of the wiffleball community, may find out how well
they play. This I can’t guarantee anything because I haven’t seen
them play. Needless to say, this will increase both leagues’ popularity,
by a large amount.
Cliff Rancho (Rebuttal and Statement): Now, I don’t really
have anything negative to say about what Mr. Rapp just pointed out,
but one question comes to my mind, how can WB2k1 let these guys
play the cosom way and not let me play? I can see why they won’t
let Mr. Rapp play (it’s because he’s an old fart), but I’m young,
hip, athletic and good looking with my shirt off, why not me! Anyway,
if these two leagues are going to play each other, then I only got
one comment to make, James Vassar will embarrass the Ken Griffey
League! No doubt about it!
Dr. William Rapp (Rebuttal): Well, Cliff, I’ve thrown batting
practice to you after games and I think the commish has watched,
so that is why you aren’t playing. Anyway...umm, there is nothing
really to rebuttal against, I don’t think it’s a sure think James
will embarrass the Ken Griffey Leauge. So, yeah, whatever, thank
god this is over.
Alright, thanks a
lot of Cliff Rancho, the doctor of love, and Dr. William Rapp, for
participating in this event. Everyone else should go to the forum
and tell us who you
think won the debate!
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