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2001 Bi-Weekly Report (12-15-01)
In non-wiffleball news
I've got a zit right outside my mouth on the left side. And before
you make the joke, NO, it's not herpes. It hurts to open my mouth
though. I would say it's probably because I was fairly stressed
out with school this past week (and this coming one), but then I
would be blatantly ignoring the fact that I've eaten about ten pounds
of chocolate since Wednesday and I haven't washed my face since
last Friday. Should I pop it?! Pain's not an issue here. Did I mention
that I don't have a girlfriend?
Wattenberg claims Play of the Year!
In what is believed to be the closest race we have ever seen when
it comes to these little voting booths, Clint Wattenberg beat out
teammate...me, for the 2001 Play of the Year. Clint's final tally
was 27 votes out of 51, or 53%. Doing simple arithmetic finds that
I garnered 24 votes, or 47%.
Not to take anything away from Clint (I mean, his
play saved ME!) but I think my play was superior. However, the fans
don't agree as only seven people voted for my play (I voted the
other 17 times...that was a joke). Clint continues to rack up ironic
achievements when you consider his first year in the league, when
he was considered to possibly be both the worst pitcher AND the
worst fielder in the league. Now he's a two-time Cy Young candidate
and has a Play of the Year. What's next? Best Looking? Nahhhh...
WB2K2 Calendar hits shelves...Wal Mart immediately
pulls it off
It's racier and better looking than its 2000 sister. It's our 2002
calendar and roughly one week ago, our first copy was bound. For
those who care, here is the star-studded lineup:
Mr. January: Casey Sylvester
Mr. February: Darnell Uhland
Mr. March: James Vassar
Mr. April: Seth Yoder
Mr. May: Scott Carmichael
Mr. June: Derek Byrd
Mr. July: Eric Christensen
Mr. August: Clint Wattenberg
Mr. September: Ian Byrd
Mr. October: Joey Creighton
Mr. November: Jeff Morrison
Mr. December: Mike Walsh
Eric is being very public about how he's going to
mop the floor with anyone who thinks they can sell more calendars
than him. Eric does have the advantage in that he's still in high
school (high school girls will do anything for acceptance) and he
has an almost sick desire to sell these things. Most people think
it's because if you look closely enough, you can see his pubes in
his pictorial.
And for those of you who are too damn cheap to buy
one, or live in another state or something, we'll soon have a little
something for you on the site.
Rookie Watch
--Bob (westilldon'tknowhislastname) is officially the second rookie
hopeful to see action. Not the most impressive turnout we've had,
but it could always grow with possibly 3-4 more winterball gamedays
expected. Bob's hitting looked sufficient, but his pitching will
need work. He is also James Vassar's cousin, but is much more..."mellow"
than the human time-bomb.
News and Rumors
--Speaking of the human time-bomb, after getting a homerun robbed
at the latest Winterball gameday, James flung his bat at our backstop
and completely shattered it. This will explain why you see us playing
with the old strike zone in the previous front page pic with Terry
and Darnell. Now, we've seen people get upset after striking out...but
after getting a homerun robbed?! Please. Terry believes that the
zone can be fixed with just a few pvc pipes, but the league still
expects James to reimburse it. However, those who know James say
that it'd be easier for us to get James to learn how to hit opposite-way
than it would be to get him to pay us for the repair. We collectively
hold our breath...
--Clint Wattenberg will be here for the next Winterball
gameday (either the 22nd, 23rd, or 24th), but it's unlikely he will
play due to slight shoulder pain in his right shoulder. This league
is not so conceited as to expect him to risk hurting it anymore
when he's currently well on his way to becoming an All-American
collegiate wrestler. He offered to film, or "just hit", but since
his filming proficiency falls just below...a dog's, he was told
that he would spend the entire day sitting on the deck watching,
possibly glaring at rookies to scare them.
--Casey Sylvester seems pretty excited about his
plan to get team shirts (also known as "uniforms") for
Wiffolution 51 in 2002. Of course, this league isn't financing a
dime, but we're all pulling for Casey to be the first. Also, Casey
expressed desire in wanting to redesign his team's logo. Well, I
don't know if he meant that HE wanted to, or he wanted US to. Apparently,
according to his post-gameday interivew, his team shirt will not
include orange or flourescent colors. And in a related story, he
officially dropped Mickey Kendall.
--The 2001 Byrd Awards was finally released to the
public Sunday the 9th and in my opinion was a solid piece of work,
even if it did include some questionable music choices. I mean,
I can understand the Karate Kid theme song for one, but MC Hammer?
Nonetheless, it will find its personal slot in our archive easily
and will fit in quite well. Thanks again to the video team. You
work is so VERY appreciated by me...and hopefully others.
--Later, enjoy the site...please.
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