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Xbox Review - Nascar Thunder 2003
The
Video Store
First
off, I have to tell you about my experience in the video store. To start,
I called the video place to ask if Nascar Thunder 2003 was in. The conversation
went like this:
"Do
you have a copy of Nascar 2003 in?" The clerk said. "Let me
check."
I
heard him laughing at my request under his breath. When he came back to
the phone he said:
"Yes
we have several copies, I don't think they're going anywhere."
So
now I'm in line at the video store, with Nascar Thunder 2003 in
my hand, and the same guy on the phone is ready to wait on me. He takes
one look at my game, smirks and says, "So you were the guy on the
phone?" as if to say, "I was wondering what you people look
like."
I was so embarrassed I almost killed myself right there. Instead I quickly
gave him the money and went home.
Beginnings
Now it was time to
begin playing. The Nascar Thunder 2003 intro does not disappoint. The
game begins with some wicked 80's guitar rumblings in the background.
The guitar sounds slowly build until it bursts out into the chorus of
Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride." If that's not
enough for an intro I don't know what is. This review will be best
read if you can get a copy of "Magic Carpet Ride" and loop
it over and over until you're done reading.
The
game is broken down into 4 main race modes: Lighting Challenge, Thunder
License, Season and finally the Career Mode for those hardcore Nascar
fans who like nothing more than to crack open a beer, spill it on their
wife beater, and play hour after hour.
Lightning
Challenge
These challenges open up with a Nascar professional recapping a certain
moment in their illustrious career that you are now going to attempt to
duplicate. These instances range from Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning the 2001
EA sports 500 to Jimmie Johnson's first career win. The only difficult
thing about this segment is trying not to be confused by the Nascar professional's
super intellects as they advise you on how to drive. Please note my sarcasm.
Thunder
License
In this mode you perform the fastest laps to earn "thunder plates,"
which are like trophies, I guess. Iif you have a thousand hours to burn
and you want your eyeballs to fall out of your head, then this mode is
for you. I beat all the license locations on rookie, yet I was not persuaded
to go for Veteran or Legend lap times. You can also get "thunder
plates" by winning races, being a point leader, or by not falling
asleep while playing the game.
Season
Season mode is well... like any other EA sports season, only in this
game it's Nascar style!! The highlight of my season came when I
qualified for the All-Star Open. I fought my way through the ranks, lap
after lap after lap. Finally, I found myself in the leaders' pack, attempting
to move into first place so that I could collect my first win and get
a thunder plate. It was so intense, suddenly I toggled left, pulled my
trigger a little more and boom I was in front. I won by a nose, how exciting.
Now this is where the walls came tumbling down. Instead of being able
to take my victory lap, a blinking phrase came on my screen saying that
I had been disqualified because I failed to take a pit stop. After I stopped
cursing, I figured out that part of the rules for the All-Star Open is
that you have to take a green flag pit stop. I guess it's similar
to a Basketball TV time out. Needless to say, I was upset, yet greatly
overjoyed when I realized that I had yet to play Career Mode.
Career
Mode
In this
mode you create your car from the ground up. I created one with a soft
blue hood and purple fire stripes on the side. In addition I added some
yellow, a whole lot of decals, and I signed with Team K-Mart. I looked
like one of those cars parked at Dairy Queen late at night, with the ground
effects and the crazy loud stereo system. Needless to say I didn't
fit in with the rest of the race cars, but at least I had a good driver:
me. My career was good while it lasted. About the third race, I jerked
my car into the retaining wall, just to see myself explode. That wasn't
very exciting. During race four, I tried to hit every other car I could
find; yet this again was very disappointing. In race five I tried to go
backwards in an attempt to hit the other cars head on, particularly Jeff
Gordon's car, because he thinks he's better than me. In race
six I was unable to continue because I ran out of funds, and my sponsor
Team K-Mart thought I was on crack.
Bottom Line
This game is hard...if you're
a retarded monkey. If you're not a retarded monkey then this game
will be simple for you. The most you ever have to do is hold the trigger
button for gas and steer with your thumb. Highlights include the sound
track, which also features a remake of Billy Ocean's "Get
out of my dreams, get into my car." Also, I appreciate how EA Sports
took Nascar and did the best that anyone could do with it. If you do have
to play a racing game then go with EA and Nascar Thunder 2003. In the
immortal words of Ludacris, "Cadillac grills, Cadillac mills, check
out the oil my Cadillac spills."
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