|
Book Review - Baseball Flyhawk
Pages:
94
Approximate Reading Time: 25 minutes
I
never read this book as a kid, so I was itchin' to see what I would think
of a book I didn't already have opinions on! The itchin' began to go away
as I started to read.
Plot:
Chico Romez (politically correct, boys and
girls) is a new guy on the Royals, but he makes a whole bunch of stupid
mistakes which really piss of String Becker, the star first baseman of
the team. String treats Chico like dirty beaner trash and all the teammates
are caught in the middle, for String is the most popular guy on the team.
However, 43/47ths through the book, Chico saves String's life and all
is restored in Land Christopher.
Characters:
Chico
isn't as pathetic as Nick Vassey from "The Year
Mom Won the Pennant," but he's no Fonz either. He worries too
much about what other people think of him, especially String. And if you
EVER catch yourself worrying what a guy named "String" thinks
of you, you need to re-evaluate the person you've become. Chico's parents
might be a main reason for his lack of self-esteem. After he laments about
being a loser and losing games, his dad never seems to have much more
to say than "better luck next time."
Coach
Day is the manager-in-chief of the Royals, and he mails in every scene,
but you don't seem to mind. I think the author spent like 3 minutes building
this guy. He never strays too far as a character, whipping out lines like
these with frightening regularity:
"Let's
hold 'em!"
"Tough luck, Ray."
"Okay, Chico."
"Hit away, Chico."
"Watch it next time, Chico."
"Chico!"
Other
than that, Coach Day didn't have much to say.
String
Becker is noted as the team's most popular and best player, but you really
wouldn't know if the author didn't outright tell you. The teammates don't
seem to flock to him, and he doesn't seem to take over games very often.
He is entertaining though in how he's always ragging on Chico after he
makes his 17th mental error of the game.
The
character names are here in full effect. String is one, right off the
bat, even though I think the most popular/talented player on any team
would most definitely NEVER be called String. We also run into Dutch Pierce
and Dick Mills. I know lots of little turds were running around with names
like "Dick" back in the 60's (one example: my uncle), but you
just don't see that anymore.
Problems:
This book had its share.
--The
main thing that struck me was it seemed Chico was a better player than
String. Sure, he made a bunch of bush-league mistakes, but he also saved
like 30 games with homerun robs and timely basehits. All we ever got to
see String do was make fun of Chico and then give a lighthearted handshake
after Chico's latest game-saving, wall-climbing catch.
--About
2/3rds through the book (page 68), Chico and his buddy (appropriately
named "Buddy") are going over the team batting averages. See
if you find anything wrong with this excerpt:
That
night Buddy came over to visit Chico. They went over the list of batting
averages. String was leading with a whopping .397. Buddy's average was
.388, Chico's .297.
"String
is a much better hitter than either of us," said Chico. "I wish
I could hit as well as he does."
"Who
doesn't?" said Buddy.
Okay,
you get it?
It's
the fact that Chico is plainly ignoring Buddy's stellar .388 mark. He
says String is a much better hitter than either of them, when Buddy's
only percentage points behind him. If I was Buddy, I'd be like, "Hey
bitch, look at me! I'm right with him! You're the pud knocker who can't
hit! I'm going home!"
--The
subplot (and eventual tie-in at the end) involves Chico being this great
diver and swimmer, which sets off a number of homosexual undertones. Throw
in Buddy and Chico's playful frolicking while in the pool, and...well,
you get the idea. Actual quote from the book:
There
was nothing he would have rather done today than swim with Buddy.
Not
that there's anything wrong with that...but it is 1963. As String thoughtfully
pointed out, "swimming and diving are for sissies." Of course,
we later learn that String can't swim, so he's just jealous of Chico (right...),
but I prefer to let String be cool. Swimming and diving really are for
"sissies." It's also the closest you'll come to cursing in a
Christopher book, so you take what you can get.
--Chico's
parents had a horrible role in this book, combining for maybe 25 words
between them throughout the story, most of which were reminding Chico
how "everyone makes mistakes." I'm sure that's reassuring, but
Chico probably heard that line over 100 times during his childhood. I
bet they were upset their son was such a loser and kept making dumb decisions
on the field. They were probably also upset he was "playing for the
other team." Not that there's anything wrong with that.
--I'm
also unclear on the title of the book. "The Year Mom Won the Pennant"
is pretty self-explanatory, but "Baseball Flyhawk"? Why is Chico
considered a flyhawk? Because he makes more baserunning blunders than
Bugs Wheeler hits homeruns? Are flyhawks traditionally stupid? I entered
this book thinking Chico would be this big stud on the team. Maybe the
title of the book is referring to Buddy, the real star of the team. If
so, then great title!
Summation:
Despite its brisk flow (reading time:
25 minutes), I can't recommend this book. The only lesson learned here
is that if you save the life of the guy who hates you because you make
a mental mistake every 10 minutes, he'll forgive you and you'll suddenly
never again make mental mistakes. And that's just bad if a kid is going
to go through life believing that. All Matt Christopher books are cheesy,
but this one lays it on pretty thick. Still, as you'll find out later,
not the thickest.
Score:
4 out of 10
|
