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Book Review - The Kid Who Only Hit Homers
Pages:
150
Approximate Reading Time: 40 minutes
Oh
yeah baby, the classic. I read this book roughly 25 times between the
ages of 11 and 12. Then never read it again. Until last week.
Plot:
Sylvester Coddmeyer III is wishin' he signed up to play baseball. He likes
it, but well...he sucks at it. The coach said he was too late for signups,
but then Sylvester runs into a mysterious man named Mr. Baruth. Mr. Baruth
somehow transforms Sylvester into a good player after a 15-minute practice
session, and Sylvester makes the team after wowing the coaches at a practice
he wasn't supposed to be able to attend. Sylvester then goes on the most
ludicrous streak ever dreamed...he hits something like 24 consecutive
homeruns over the course of the season, leading his team to a 7-3 record.
The pressure to become famous reaches Sylvester eventually, but thanks
to Mr. Baruth's advice, he doesn't fall victim to the evils of celebrity.
Eventually,
Mr. Baruth leaves
town (he was only passing through on "vacation") and suddenly,
Sylvester sucks again. Well, the author doesn't come right out and say
it, but you get the idea.
Characters:
Sylvester's not too bad as a lead. He doesn't win you over, but he doesn't
make you vomit like Bobby Jamison or Nick
Vassey. He's simply a modest kid who is trying to make sense of this
ridiculous turn of events. Granted, he doesn't do too well with figuring
anything out, but this is a Matt Christopher book, not exactly chock full
of geniuses.
Mr.
Baruth is the man responsible for Sylvester's turnaround, and in any other
era, he'd be considered a dangerous stalker and sent to prison. He claims
to be hanging out in Sylvester's town for his vacation, but he spends
the entire season there, making me wonder just how long this man's vacation
is. You figure out quickly that Mr. Baruth is either a spirit or a figment
of Sylvester's imagination -- judging by Sly's dramatic shift in talent,
I'd say he was a spirit. Not that I believe in that shit! No one else
sees him.
Snooky
Malone plays the nerdy...nerd who is the only one who seems curious of
exactly how Sylvester goes from a horrible wannabe to a town stud over
the course of 15 minutes, but even he fails to break through the "intelligence
barrier." He catches Sylvester talking to himself a number of times,
but doesn't really seem to make an issue of it.
Sylvester's
parents are the typical Christopher "parents." They mean well,
but they let too many things slide. For one, they let their 12 year old
kid hang out with a 50 year-old man, despite never having met him and
every sign pointing to the fact that this old man will soon anally rape
their son. They must have known right away that he wasn't one of "those"
old guys, who spend 2 month-long vacations in small towns hanging out
with little boys.
Sylvester's
coach is the typical coach, but even he gets lost in the shuffle of the
homerun streak. You kind of forget about him, and he doesn't really even
need to coach with Sylvester hitting bomb after bomb. Hell, Coach Barrows
(Long Stretch at First Base) could coach this
team to a winning record.
Maybe
it's because we moved on into the 70's here, but the funny-name kids seem
to be disappearing. Still, we get Snooky Malone and the ridiculous Bongo
Daley. There's also a guy named Bert Riley. I realize Bert isn't too odd
a name, but I personally have NEVER met a Bert, and I think if I did,
I would laugh at his name, which earns the name a spot on this list.
Problems:
Even this bad boy had some. Keep in mind that I didn't think of any of
these problems while I was a kid.
--Okay,
I can suspend disbelief for a bit and imagine some spirit helping Sylvester
become a better player. However, I can't imagine this spirit hitting fly
balls to Sylvester and pitching him BP. If someone walked by the field
during the practice session, what did they see? Sylvester swinging at
nothing? Running around in the outfield, shadow-catching? I'm just looking
for a little consistency.
--It
takes Coach Corbin way too long to move Sylvester up in the order. He
waited until the FOURTH game of the season to make the move. See, he had
him at the clean-up spot for the team's first scrimmage game, but Sylvester
sucked that game, so he was moved to 9th. Once the season officially started,
Sylvester went on his streak. In Game 1, he hit three in a row. Same thing
for Game 2. Then he hit four in a row in Game 3. THEN Coach Corbin moved
him back to the clean-up spot. That's inexcusable. You move him back to
clean-up after the first game, no questions asked.
--For
some reason, Sylvester was never walked much. He started getting some
bigtime press after the second game (after which he was 6-6 with 6 homeruns
on the year), but teams never really walked him. For instance, in Game
9, he went 3-3 with 3 homeruns. Why aren't pitchers pitching around him?
I mean, after 10 straight homeruns, in kind of leaves the "coincidence"
realm and moves into "creepy." WALK HIM. INTENTIONALLY. Barry
Bonds gets walked 200 times a season, and his homeruns marks are nowhere
near Sylvester's!
--I've
said Christopher books lay on the cheese pretty thick, but at the end,
when the coach presents Sylvester with a trophy for being "the greatest
athlete Hooper Junior High has ever had" we moved into unchartered
territory. Is it that big an honor to be named the best athlete at your
Junior High? Do you even care? Does anyone care outside of your immediate
family? Do they even care?
Summation:
I've mentioned some problems, but I have to in order to keep this
review somewhat entertaining. Truth be told, this book is a classic and
I would have just as easily gushed all over it like a 10 year-old girl
at an Eminem concert. Yeah, the premise is impossible to believe, but
the shear novelty of a kid hitting nothing but homeruns had a weird power
to it. To this day, I still remember Sylvester Coddmeyer the third's name.
And I had to look up...what's his face...Bobby Jamison's
name for this sentence. I'm not asking you to spend money on this, but
if you ever get lucky enough to get the chance to impregnate a woman,
and you have a kid (boy or girl), BUY THIS BOOK FOR THEM. However, for
the love of all that's good and pure, DO NOT GET THEM THE SEQUEL!!!
(Review of said sequel is coming soon).
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