|
Scatch Maroo, Volume II
Scatch Maroo here, and I’m ready to dish out another bucket-load
of shit. Before I continue, I’d like to touch on the reactions of a few
players (Rat Man, really). I had expected at least a peep from Mickey
Kendall, but that stupid bastard didn’t say a word. Why? He probably knew
when to keep his mouth shut, to prevent further embarrassment. But Rat
Man (James Vassar), proved my point of his lack of intelligence. Vassar
bitched, and he moaned an incredible amount on the guest book, and I’m
sure he sent Joe a few too many letters. Anyhow folks, don’t bother making
a threat if you’re not going to back it up.
Everyone
in the Wiffleball 2K league should be aware of Tim Castrated (legally
titled "Castro"). From what I hear, this pecker’s been bitching
almost as much as Vassar in regards to his web
site being ‘incredible’, and ‘deserving better of a 3’ in this site's
links page.
Dude, what the hell does it matter that another wiffleball site says they
think yours sucks? As I was discussing earlier with a colleague, we believe
that since you were castrated you lack the testicles you desire, and are
attempting to attach yourself to those of the Creighton brothers and want
them to like your site. Last I checked, Wiffleball 2000 wasn’t the center
of all wiffleball activity, so what the fuck does it matter if they say
your site sucks? And may I say, Jesus H. Christ you’re a moron when it
comes to little things such as logic, sensibility, etc in terms of web
development. Instead of simply typing out the goddamned rules, you scan
a gigantic picture of the rules, and post that instead. That’d only be
a jackass idea if it weren’t for the 1.88mb in size! We don’t all run
off cable modems unfortunately, so to any idiot who clicks the link to
their site I suggest not clicking on "BBS Wiffleball Rules".
The fucking thumbnails are each 150-250k…what the hell is that??? Half
of your team is made up of fifteen year-olds, which is one thing…but the
rest are like eleven year olds. I think we’ve got Mickey
Kendall Jr. here, folks! You've also got a nine year old! Man, how
well can this motherfucker play? Can he even pick up the goddamned bat?
Are you being paid to baby-sit these little bastards? In the next article,
look for BSS Wiffleball to have a large feature.
I’d also like to address Derek Byrd. Man, what the hell
are you doing in the league? I’ve seen cheerleaders play better than that.
Hell, I bet an Australian woman could hit that ball farther with her right
tit then you can with a cricket stick. And after seeing that video featured
on the front page, and watching Bruce (as I was told) lovingly mount you,
I must say you have a way of attracting the men. If catching a fly ball
is a career highlight, you should seriously look into the sport of ‘Catch’.
Why not try and cheat, by throwing golf balls at the batters while the
pitcher pitches? You could deny it was you, and blame it on someone in
his or her back yard. If you’re going to suck in a sport, you might as
well be inventive about it.
The only man in Chico that seems to know his ass from
his elbow is Donnie Jeffcoat (although that mullet of his shows how he’s
apparently stuck in the eighties). I totally agree on the subject of dumb
broads playing any sport with men. Men are much more competitive, and
can take insults from each other with much more ease (except the all-too
feminine Rat Man). A woman is more likely to break down and cry if she
strikes out a few times, and I can’t imagine what would happen if someone
shouted out a friendly, "You suck!" If you’ve got a broad who can take
insults and dish ‘em out, then you’ve got yourself a manly lesbian that
nobody wants to play with anyhow. Any woman with a penis longer then the
average garden hose is not an athlete; she (he?) is a freak of nature,
which should be dragged into the street and shot. So, in other words,
Donnie Jeffcoat should be runnin’ the show down there, ‘cause he knows
how to slap those dikes around.
Now, even though she’s not a member of the league, I’d
still like to hear from Amber Neves and her opinion on being pimped by
multiple men at once. Seth Yoder is the supposed "man of Amber’s
life", but it turns out that helmet-wearing retard is pimpin’ her
out for some extra spending money. I heard Amber wanted to play wiffleball;
shouldn’t she be too busy makin’ someone money?
She should be, and if she ain’t, she should get beat with
the pimpin’ cane.
That’s all for now, from Scatch Maroo. I’ll try and get
my next edition out sooner…and remember, send those emails and write on
the guest book! All the more I have to insult you!
-Scatch Maroo
|
