Boy Review: Ben Savage (Boy Meets World)

Hey boys! In case you haven't figured it out, my name's Skyla, and I've been hired to do reviews of famous boys! Why a wiffleball site would want my services is unknown to me, but here I am!

First, allow me to tell you a little about myself. I like classic rock, like Poison, Warrant, and Def Lepard! In fact, there are rumors floating around that the late, great Steve Clark was the product of Elvis Presley and one of his mistesses! Wouldn't that be cool LOL! Seriously though, the death of Clark in 1991 left me very shook up. I thought I was gonna die! :O My favorite car is a Pontiac Trans Am, and I even have one! For cash I work at a local bar. Tips are great :) lol My favorite song is "Back in Black" by AC/DC because it's all about going out and having a good time! lol.

Seriously though, I should get on with the review. In my review, I will introduce the boy under review, I will give you a personality description, a physical description, and leave you with my patended "do-able scale."

Boy:

You all know Ben Savage as Cory Matthews from "Boy Meets World." I never watched the show when it was on, but I was told it was syndicated roughly 7 times a day on Disney, so I tuned in for a couple episodes. It wasn't my normal cup of tea. Most of the characters on the show were pretty clean cut, which for me is a huge turn off. I like my men loud, dirty, and in control!

Personality:

This is Cory's main problem. He's a sweet kid and all, and I hope my 7 year-old ends up as nice as he is, but when we're talking about who I wanna hop in the sack with, he just doesn't fit the bill.

Seriously though, I saw one episode where he looked kind of young, and he was apparently starting to date "Topanga" or whatever her name is. Then I saw another show a couple days later where they're like 5 years older! And they're still dating! See, that kind of long-term committment is not going to get you in my acid-washed jeans.

Wouldn't dating him get boring? He's probably in bed by 10 pm, he probably does all his homework, he probably drinks a lot of milk, he probably drives a Honda Accord, etc. For me, my man needs to either be driving a muscle car (like mine! lol) or a big truck. My dad, bless his heart, drives an old-man car.

Seriously though, could you give Cory a booty call? Now his brother, on the other hand, had a bit more to offer. Eric didn't seemed tied down to any one woman, and made it clear he had a mind for the wild. Still a momma's boy due to the oppressing nature of their homelife, Eric at least looked like he'd be willing to try some cool things in bed.

And Cory's friend Shawn was similar. Not too nice, not bad looking, and seemingly ready for action! He was a little immature, but you could definitely give Shawn a booty call.

Physical:

As stated before, he's cute, but in a little boy way. He's got that brillo-pad hair that does nothing for me. I like longer hair and bigger muscles. His dress was rather...what's the word?...preppy! lol

Seriously though, Cory's the kind of boy I want my son hanging out with. And if that's ever the category you're put in by a woman, never expect to get any. Some women have this fantasy of taking an unassuming "nice guy" and roughing him up. Being in control. Not me. Cory's the kind of boy who grows up to be an accountant, have 2.5 kids, drive an Accord, and have really sad, lame sex. He wouldn't drink, and he'd go to the local sports club every other day.

If I haven't been clear enough, that would NOT get me going! :p

Seriously though, I have this thing for tatoos! Lots of 'em! I have five (not telling you where! lol) and I expect my man to have at least that if not more. I doubt Cory has five tatoos! In fact, I bet he doesn't even have one!! lol

Summation:

Really, I have nothing against Cory. He's a sweet kid and I'm sure he and Topanga are happy. But to bump uglies with me you gotta be coming home with dirt on your hands (unless you're a rock star!!! lol!!)

Seriously though, let's hand it over to the "do-able scale"!!!!

Do-Able Scale (out of 100):

BEN SAVAGE: 23

I'd have to be pretty drunk to want to take advantage of this momma's boy.

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