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Skyla
Boy Review: Warrick Davis (Willow)
Hello
to all my cutie-pie readers out there! It's been a long time, hasn't it?
I have taken a liking to the message board this here site has, so feel
free to send any comments that way!
The
league is having a celebration of sorts, I guess. All they told me was,
"Skyla, we need to you to review these two guys." Included were
two pictures. One was of Val Kilmer, who I also refer to as "Shower
head," cuz he gets me all wet. LOL! The other was of some really
short guy I didn't recognize. They told me he was "that short guy
in Willow." I didn't know what Willow was. After a few painful minutes
at IMDB.com, I remembered him! Did you know he was also in Star Wars?!!?!
LOL! That's so cute!
Seriously
though, his name is Warrick Davis, and here's my review of him.
Boy:
Willow
was released back in 1988, so some of you may have watched this movie
as a kid. In 1988, I was 17 years old, so I never saw it. It was about
some short guy (official height: 3'6") and some adventure. That's
all I really got from IMDB.com. The WB2K3 guys told me to rent the movie,
but I never did. Whoops!! =O Anyway, Warrick Davis played Willow, the
lead character. He's also been in Star Wars (he played an Ewok!), Leprechaun
(as well as the numerous sequels), and some other stereotypical roles
you expect to see a "little guy" in.
Personality:
I
heard some of the audio clips from Willow, and Warrick sounded like a
total wuss job. His British accent, tiny stature, and horrible hair helped
accentuate the obvious: this guy wasn't getting any Skyla sugar. Val Kilmer's
character was always mocking him, ordering him around, and no one ever
gave him respect. And how did he respond? He didn't! He'd just whine or
take it.
See,
that's a problem. If you and I are out at the bars, and some guy is hitting
on me, or worse, making fun of me, how are you going to respond? Hopefully
you'll take care of business! And hopefully, you're not 3'6"!!
Willow
would, in that situation, take me by the hand, whisper in my ear, "C'mon
honey, let's get out of here and go rent 'Beaches'," and walk out!
I however, would not follow him. I'd find me a real man. Tight jeans,
tight shirt, a couple beers in him.
Seriously
though, how many beers do you think Willow can handle before he's standing
on tables singing a drunken version of "Living On A Prayer"?
Half a bottle? I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of a light-weight. And
if I'm pulling more than you...ouch!!
Physical:
So
what I know of Mr. Davis is through what I found on the Internet. Did
you know that there are a couple sites dedicated to this movie?! They
all have pictures, and writing and lots of other things about the movie!
Crazy! Some people just have WAYYYYYY to much time on their hands! LMAO!!
Seriously
though, what I found of Mr. Davis was...interesting. I guess...hmm...how
can I put this...
The
guy's really really really really short. And his face looks a little...weird.
Not a good weird either, like David Hasselhoff's. He's also British, which
does very little for me, unless the accent is accompanied by some tight
leather pants and a guitar! ;)
He
was wearing tight pants in some of the pictures I saw of him, but they
were more of the "I'm playing an elf and am wearing tight spandex"
style of tight pants. He also had that "I'm 3'6" and only come
up to Skyla's belly button" face on him in many of the pictures,
which was just a total turnoff.
(Guys,
let me tell you this...size DOES matter! It's just a fact. Some women
rock the "motion" theory, but it's really just a tool to make
you feel better. Don't believe the hype! Point being, Warrick Davis...well,
it's hard for this reviewer to picture him packing heat, so to speak.
I know not all of my leather-clad fantasy guys are holding armadillos
down there, but at least I can pretend! :) )
Summation:
Maybe
I'm old fashioned, and maybe I'm not being "PC," but...well...midgets
just don't do it for me. I know some people who are into it though. An
old boyfriend of mine had a few midget porno tapes, but he swore he was
only holding them for another friend who he refused to let me meet. I
wonder why!!!! LOL!
Seriously
though, if I were to watch the tapes, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it at
that level. Kind of like bestiality...just not my thing.
Warrick
Davis is kind of cute, but more in the charity case way, not unlike old
people. You know you have that friend (97% of the time female) who thinks
"old people are sooooo cute!"
Quickie
Do-Able Scale |
| Boy |
Rating |
| Keanu Reeves |
57 |
| Shaquille O'Neal |
49 |
| Jerry Springer |
41 |
| Carrot Top |
31 |
| The Rock |
86 |
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This
is similar, only "Willow" is only "kinda" cute.
Do-Able
Scale (out of 100):
WARRICK
DAVIS: 09
I don't think I will ever do the nasty
with a midget.
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