The following is what's been going on with Darnell Uhland since the end of the league, in his own words.
"What has been going on
since the Road Warriors
made their majestic run
for the Series At The
Sac? Well many may have
heard about the celebration
parties and cruises that
went on after our conquest
and everything is true.
As for right now, I'm
still basking in the glory
of being a champion in
such a prestigious league.
"I recently graduated
and received my B.A. degree
in Communications from
the University of California
San Diego. Since then
I have been pursuing my
career dream of becoming
a sports broadcaster on
TV or radio. I have also
had three jobs since graduating
in June. My first job
was with a sports academy
named Skyhawks. I coached
kids in various sports
for the summer and got
to enjoy the San Diego
sun. I also received a
job with 24 Hour Fitness,
which is like In Motion
Fitness in Chico, but
a lot bigger. We're talking
"corporate" big. I left
that job to pursue my
current job, which is
at "Dave and Buster's,"
an entertainment place
that I like to say is
a "Chuck E Cheese on steroids"
(or for adults). You can
find a TGIFridays-like
restaurant, three bars,
and a giant arcade that
feels like a casino. I
love this job, because
all that I do is act stupid,
talk to the guest, and
make them happy. As all
of you know, I'm really
good at all of those attributes.
"How did I get these
jobs? My resume is off
da hook. All the employer
had to see was the B.A.
degree, the Series At
The Sac Championship,
and my custom-made championship
ring and they couldn't
resist hiring me. It also
helped when they saw that
I was on the cover of
our 2002 calendar too.
After looking at my resume,
"Dave and Buster's" told
the six other people in
the lobby, who were waiting
for interviews, to go
home, because you can't
compare to the championship
qualities that Mr. Darnell
Uhland displays.
"A couple months ago,
I caught the break that
I needed for pursuing
my career goal of becoming
a sports broadcaster.
While working the door
and checking ID's at "Dave
and Buster's" a couple
of guys from the San Diego
sports radio station,
The Mighty 1090 AM, came
in to set up for their
Super Bowl party. They
saw me and said, "You're
Darnell Uhland, captain
of the Road Warriors."
"Yeah, that's me," I said.
They quickly responded
by saying, "We want you
to work with us as our
promotions director for
the Padres season!"
"Okay so maybe I interned
for them the year before,
so I knew the right people
and happened to be in
the right place at the
right time. I got hired
and started officially
working on opening day
this year and my job is
to set up and run the
Padres' pre-game and post-game
show. I make sure our
radio personalities are
doing well and control
the tab on all drinks,
so if any of you come
to San Diego, drinks are
on me. I still work at
"Dave and Buster's" whenever
the Padres are not in
town.
"This just in, sorry
ladies, but I am off the
market as I am now engaged
to a white blonde as of
March 1, 2005. More info
on this later as I plan
on having a wiffleball
all-star gala, including
a homerun derby in the
sanctuary the night before
the wedding whenever it
may be.
"Fact of the matter
is, I am still the same
ole D. I goof off, have
fun, and make sure everyone
is having a good time.
I play for the Dave and
Buster's softball team
and promote the WB2K website
whenever I can. People
really get hooked on the
site, especially when
I show the in-depth stats
that are put up by Joey
or Terry and when they
see me run into a light
pole. I love wiffleball
and to be honest, without
it I probably would be
a dull black and white
man that watches Sportscenter
and plays MVP Baseball
all day. Two out my friends.
"I break color barriers
for a living."
--Darnell Uhland
