1. What is the proudest moment of your wiffleball career?

I would like to say breaking the color barrier, but I took too long to do it. I did win Rookie of The Year, but I sucked at hitting and I beat Bruce Longacre and Mickey Kendall (Ugh!). Being on the cover of our prestigious wiffleball calendar was unbelievable, but...well it is still unbelievable as I show people down in San Diego. Out of all of the wonderful experiences that I have shared with this league, I'd have to say that my proudest moment came when I hit the walk-off home run to win the last Series At The Sac championship in our league in 2003. This ranks as my proudest moment, because it ended a long struggle in this league, as well as a long struggle with my pitching in that game.

2. What was the most embarassing moment of your career?

Wow let's see, have you seen my fielding? On most occasions, that would be the answer hands down. Having a video of me getting sidewalk slammed on my own month (Black History Month). That was rough, but I'd have to say that the most embarassing moment in my career though would be my draft picks in 2002.

3. Okay, enough wiffleball...tell us more about this "Chuck E. Cheese on 'roids" joint you work at.

Dave and Buster's is a giant arcade filled with simulators and ticket games, which can be used to get prizes (sound familiar?). It is also a restaurant, which displays a menu similar to a TGIFridays, with some more gourmet options. The thing that brings the steroids aspect comes with the fact that the games are modern (the most recent game is not NBA Jam) and there are three bars that bring a nightclub aspect with colorful and tasteful (from what I hear) drinks. There are also billiards tables and a shuffleboard table. Lastly, instead of having a rat run around singing happy birthday to 4 year-olds, you have security with guns (just in case) as well as guest ambassadors, dressed in suits.

4. Can any women be found there, or is it a 24/7 sausage fest?

Please, would I work somewhere where you can't find women? The women flow to Dave and Buster's like the salmon of Capistrano. We have a night that has been named, and I say this because this particular ethnicity claims it, "The Asian Invasion," in which a lot of college girls of all ethnicites come out to cause havoc. I've even seen a couple of escorts and I'm not talking about Ford.

5. What's in the CD player right now?

Kanye West "College Dropout."

6. DVD player?

Meet The Fockers in one, WWE Backlash in the other.

7. Gamecube?

MVP Baseball 2005.

8. Do you miss Ron Woodward and the rest of the ThunderHeads?

Let me tell you something, if there is one thing that I miss most about Chico it is the Thunder Rumble led by Ron Woodward.

9. What time is it?

9:07 pm.

10. What life experiences are you missing right now by choosing to instead answer these interview questions?

Playing MVP Baseball and going to Dave and Buster's. I guess going out to the clubs with my roommate in Pacific Beach as well.

11. Changing topics, just how damn hot was Ferris Buehler's girlfriend?

Besides my girl (in case she reads this) I'd have to say that she would have saved the Titanic, because she could melt an iceberg or two (I just made that up, unless someone has said it before).

12. Which leads me to my next question, can you list your top 5 all-time original NES games?

5. Metroid
4. Baseball Stars
3. Super Mario Brothers
2. Bases Loaded
1. Tecmo Super Bowl

13. I can't believe you're ranking Bases Loaded ahead of Baseball Stars. Let's just move on before I strangle you. You mentioned you're getting married. Congratulations. What role will the Road Warriors have at the wedding? Will Pat Plummer be checking ID's? Will Aaron Kemper be pouring wine? Will Anthony Sanzone no-show? Will Dave Cain be the MC?

The Road Warriors will be right by my side. Dave Cain will be my best man, because he is "The Savior." Curtis Henning and Pat Plummer will be my groomsmen, because without them my girl would have left me for having terrible drafting skills. Jeff Register will also be a groomsman, because he likes my girl's sister. Anthony Sanzone and Chris Keefer will man the smoking section, but I will end up calling them from now until 10 years from now only to get no answer. Aaron Kemper will be in charge of stirring the punch with a resurrected black bat, which is forced to make contact with something for a change. Luke Carriere will show only because he has the hots for my cousin, something I should have offered him when he played. Last but not least TC will be Master of Ceremonies, because without him there would be no Road Warriors and no "0-2, oooooohhh."

14. If you ever suspected your fiance was messing around on you, how long would you wait before calling "Cheaters"?

She won't cheat on me because as you know, "Once you go black you'll never go back." I will however set up something to where it will appear she is cheating on me only to show the host that his lady is cheating on him and jump him for being an idiot who thinks he is tougher than he really is (Look up Simon Dean).

15. What's going on with The Black Hammer and John Jaha?

Jaha and the Hammer are about to go on their own victory cruise of being married for 25 years in June. The Hammer still lays it down like she is from Black and Decker and Jaha is about to be called up to the A's due to their lack of offense.

16. Have your folks made a motion yet to adopt Dave Cain, or at least find him a girlfriend?

Well my folks have wanted to adopt him since he joined the team. As for a girlfriend, I think my dad has one lined up as well as a bed to come with her at his job, the Sleep Train, in Chico

17. Tell everyone how awesome our league was, in case they haven't figured it out yet.

In the words of the great Bret The Hitman Hart, "It's the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be!"

18. How in the world can you lead a happy life without us?

Well the Kings didn't help, the A's don't help until June or July. I guess I really can't. The beach is alright, but they have beaches in Maine. If my girl is reading this, then I would have to say that my girl makes me happy. Her and Randy Moss with Jerry Porter.