1. You and I had nicknames for one another that (I believe) no one else used. You're Meg 2000 and I'm MB250. Now, refresh my memory on when/where/why those names came about.

I'm not quite sure of the origin. I'm pretty sure it started on the Pleasant Valley High baseball team. I think they were references to our post-practice workouts. The rest of the team would get Slurpees at 7-11 but you and I would hit the gym, take our 'roid of choice (Meg 2000 for me, MB 250 for you) and lift until we vomited. Those were good times to be sure.

2. Late in your career you had graduated from benching pickup trucks to benching shuttle buses. How's the training going today? Is age catching up to you or are you stronger than ever?

Well, I still feel great but during my college years I started getting a little too big so I cut down on the max lifting and started focusing on building lean muscle, you know, more reps and lighter weights. I've found the Ford Expedition to be my weight of choice as of late. But don't worry...I still put up the old shuttle bus every now and then, when I get the urge.

3. After retiring, did you ever look back during the 2002 and 2003 seasons and appreciate how a particular player was playing? If so, who and why? Anyone's play disappoint you?

I'm an old school guy, so I paid attention to guys like Scott, Joey, Clint, and even Mike Walsh. The new generation didn't really grab my attention much, sorry to say. I think a big disappointment for me was Casey. When I left the league, he was quickly becoming one of the most feared players in the league. I don't know what happened to him.

4. Well, if you listen to Jeff Morrison, he left the country in search of 2-Pac. But I digress...like many other people have before me, I did a Google Image Search for "Nate Stuempfig" and only came up with one image. Are you ashamed or proud of that one image?

Very proud to grace others with such a stunningly beautiful image. I direct all my girlfriends to that photo. For some reason they usually leave me shortly after seeing the photo.

5. Morrison's a newlywed and Uhland's engaged. Do women really weaken legs?

Not so much in the legs but definitely in the brain. That's why you have to increase your 'roid dosage when you become involved with a woman. It counterbalances the loss of testosterone.

6. Who were your favorite players to play with and/or against?

Of course I loved having Scott on my team. I really liked playing against Joey and Matt Holmberg. Joey was incredibly fun to pitch against because he would foul off like 30 pitches every at-bat. The running start pitching duels with Matt will forever be one of my fondest meomories. My favorite player to hit off of was Derek Byrd. I always hit well off him.

7. Hero or villain: Jose Canseco?

Jackass.

8. Put your glasses on and tell us what Britney Spears' baby will be up to 25 years from now.

Probably doing heavy drugs and murdering people for saying that they wanted to sleep with his mom.

9. This is becoming tradition...list your top 5 NES games of all time.

1. Baseball Stars
2. Mike Tyson's Punchout
3. Tecmo Bowl
4. Contra
5. Blades of Steel

10. That my friend...is a solid list. Now list the top 5 most overrated NES games of all time.

1. Mario 3
2. Zelda 2

11. And that's an incomplete list. What's in the CD Player?

Tom Petty's Greatest Hits

12. DVD Player?

Old School.

13. Be honest: How helpful is/was steroids in terms of getting you laid?

They get me the girl but really hinder bedroom performance. That whole testicle shrinking thing can be a real problem.

14. If we came back from the dead in 2006 with completely reset teams, and you were somehow able to get 100 ABs in for the season, who would be your top 5 dream teammates and why?

Top five teammates:
1. Joey
2. Scott
3. Jason Eberhart
4. Holmberg
5. Walsh
(Luke Carriere, if he showed up, would be in there somewhere)

15. We can all probably guess who the best wiff player you ever saw was...but who was the worst?

Early Clint Wattenberg, early Eric Christensen.

16. Which young pop/movie/tv star do you think will be the first to jump into the porn industry?

Avril Lavigne. Something very trashy about her. I like that.

17. Name one television show you watch at least fairly regularly but just REALLY hate to admit?

I don't watch much TV but I do religiously watch Entourage on HBO.

18. Can we expect you at Winterball '05? And just why is that a no-brainer?

Of course I'll be there. Unlike 2 Pac, my love for wiffleball will never die.